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Watch “Tito Watch,” Tito! You might learn something! (Theoretically.)
If you’re an Orange County resident who has recently used the internet, you’re probably aware that last month Huntington Beach elected Tito Ortiz, former MMA star and current CTE patient, to our city council, with a record-breaking 42,000 votes – more than ever before received by any HB council candidate!
Tito’s political career began last June when he joined a group of violent counter-protesters claiming to be “protecting the city” from supposedly murderous and rapacious out-of-town Black Lives Matter demonstrators. (No such violence materialized.)
[Video by Mandy Rosen Photography]
He then briefly toyed with the idea of becoming a police officer, but instead announced his candidacy for Huntington Beach City Council in September, and was an instant sensation among our more racist neighbors. Some speculate his history of DUIs, drug use, and domestic violence charges may have disqualified him from a career with HBPD; but no such restrictions exist for city council members.
Tito has been on the Huntington Beach City Council for less than a month, but he has already accomplished so much for his constituents:
1. He gave us the gift of comedy! His failure to recite his oath of office had us laughing for the better part of a week, and was fodder for local pundits and sports commentators alike. [See videos below]
2. He educated us about our city government. After he was appointed Mayor Pro Tem, the rightwing keyboard warriors of HB frantically googled the City Charter and actually, finally, learned about council procedures!
3. He missed his first council meeting. That sounds bad, but it was probably a blessing in disguise: That night Huntington Beach voted to join Orange County’s new Community Choice Energy program, and explaining electricity to Tito would’ve slowed down the whole process.
4. He Stopped The Steal! Just kidding. But he did call for a recount in the fabulously blue state of California, and he did stop traffic on the PCH as part of a super-spreader tin foil hat convention, and touted his position on City Council despite direct instructions not to do so.
5. He did NOT kill anyone with his boat. Sure, he may have been involved in a hit-and-run after the boat parade last weekend, but the kid sitting on the dock he ran into wasn’t the least bit hurt, and we all know the police wouldn’t have done anything about it even if she was.
6. He inspired us all to get more involved. I’ve lived in Huntington Beach for most of my life. More people are more carefully watching the actions of our local elected officials and, as much as I may hate to admit it, Tito helped foster that.
The next HB City Council meeting is tonight, Monday, December 21 at 6 p.m. Most of the agenda is nitty-gritty city stuff like stop lights, but council will also consider supporting the OC Sheriff’s Department in their raging legal battles to avoid releasing any non-violent inmates during the pandemic. I don’t know about you, but I’ll certainly tune in to see how Tito fares in his first real city council meeting!
Update
To help illustrate Tito’s vow, heard above, to “discharge his Judy’s,” Mark Daniels has created the following illustration. Purely for informational purposes, you understand.
Perfectly written! HB is going to be quite a show over the next couple of years.
Might be a little more legit if the pussy wife beater put is name behind it. But Oakview is filled with criminals and free loaders.
WTF are you talking about? Tito’s wife-beating is in question as he and Jenna settled out of court. But he sure doesn’t live in Oak View!
Tito Ortiz is an “Accident Waiting to Happen”!
To help illustrate Tito’s vow, during his swearing-in ceremony, to “discharge his Judy’s,” Mark Daniels has created the following illustration. Purely for informational purposes, you understand.
Tito’s inability to speak coherently is one thing. Tito’s support of QAnon, his “recall the vote idiocy, his anti-mask idiocy, and his claim the coronavirus is a Democratic plot to kill old people indicate he does not understand science and he has profoundly poor judgement.
I agree. But some people deserve to have criticism get under their skin — and none of those far worse facts (to which we can add racism) about him would bother him in the least. So I guess that poking at his inability to speak clearly (though I thought Jim Rome went too far with too much repetitiveness) and his having a penis head (Mark, can you put a condom on that?) will have to do. We don’t want him to develop any delusions of adequacy.
Note: we don’t treat him exactly the way we’d treat his fellow political joke Mad Dr. Barke, whose guns I’d like to see Tito confiscate — and let the best man win. Different tools for different fools!
Let us not forget how we got here. Truckloads of money from the Huntington Beach Police Officers Association as well as cash and a deceitful hit mailer from the Huntington Beach Police Managers Association headed by Captain Scott Winks.
Tito has zero qualifications for a job in city government, but he is an unabashed boot licker when it comes to law enforcement.
To summarize, The Huntington Beach Police Department is willing to embarrass and degrade the entire city of Huntington Beach for the sole purpose of electing a “yes man” to green light whatever they want. Throw a city of 200,000 plus citizens under the bus to prop up a department of 200 plus employees who are constantly wanting more while doing less. Shameful doesn’t even begin to describe this.