I have stood, for some time, awestruck, at the simple beauty a
nd flawless logic of the syllogism Juice-Brother Larry Gilbert, and Prop. 8 spokeswoman Rosie Avila, have offered on behalf of their initiative:
Studies (or some studies anyway) show that “the ideal situation for a child is to be raised by a married mother and father.” Therefore, we should take away the right of same-sex couples to marry.
The formulation is even more elegant in Larry’s (or the GOP’s?) inimitable gringo Spanish: “…la situation [sic] ideal para los nonos [sic] es ser criados or [sic] un padre y una madre que esten casados. La proposition [sic] 8 es un positivo.”
Desirous of impressing my newfound Juice-Brother, and wanting everyone to know I did not sleep through my logic and rhetoric classes at Servite, I have composed a number of corollaries to this syllogism, which use identical logic. Please feel free to suggest more in the comments section! – Your Humble Servant Phobius.
- The latest census clearly shows that Caucasians still enjoy the highest income, as a group, in the United States. So, clearly, African-Americans should not be licensed to operate a motor vehicle without first demonstrating their facility in parallel-parking a Humvee.
- Since the dawn of time, DOGS have been known as “man’s best friend” due to their peerless loyalty and affection. So what are we doing still sitting here on our hands at this late date, not having spayed, neutered, declawed, and microchipped all CATS?
- Our dear friends of the Jewish race are without peer in the realms of finance and entertainment law. Taking that undisputed observation into consideration, does it not simply stand to reason that the voting age should be raised to at least 30 if not 35?
- Most of the great works of literature, music and art, not to mention achievements in science and governance, have been the work of men. It seems to logically follow, then that women should be marked clearly, perhaps with a “W” tattoo on the forehead, before being allowed into polite company.
- Studies have consistently revealed that children who study music excel at mathematics. This is why we consider it imperative that Venezuelan soccer coaches are prohibited from working in inner-city pre-schools.
- Athletes of proud African and aboriginal descent have glorious records of prowess at the javelin and long jump. This is one of our considerations when we humbly submit that infants born of mixed-race parentage should be left on a hillside to die.
More, Juice denizens?
You know, reading this reminded me that avid readers tend to have superior writing skills. Therefore, if I had my way, I would ban Shakespeare from bookmobiles with fewer than 4 axles …
Logic is one thing. Having a moral compass and a basic appreciation for our imperfections as humans is quite another.
I’m noticing more and more that the rules of logic are being ignored, widely ignored, in media as well as in conversation, and the vast majority of people seem so little versed on the subject that they do not realize the logic is specious and that the statement therefore is, if not false, then at least not predictable as true. The choice at that point seems to be between trying to educate that there are rules to logic and trying to correct the misperception caused by the faulty logic.
🙂
Battling accusations make the participants look foolish therefore if you accuse your opponent of the things you are doing first you ensure that the worst penalty you can suffer from your wrongdoing is looking foolish. Dana Rohrerbacher supports the toll road to trestles.
Most mental health professionals recognize that the full phase of the moon potentiates aberrant behavior among the mischeviously inclined. This phenomenon could be all but eliminated by forcing Gypsies to use only platinum telescopes when studying the tidepools.
Long distance runner, what you standing there for
Get up get on, get out of the door………….
Anon, as far as I can tell (from this article and elsewhere) the Holy Trinity of Rosie, Larry and Phobius are as lacking in logic as they are in tolerance.
But I think Larry let the cat out of the bag in a comment a couple months ago:
http://orangejuiceblog.com/2008/07/red-county-blogger-jeff-flint-is-the-prop-8-consultant/#comment-64119
“Sarah. Is the glass half full or half empty? Did you ever consider that placing Prop 8 on the Nov Ballot will get more Republicans out to vote?”
Magpie, I give up. Well done!
Breaking news: Reading OJ causes Multiple Personality Disorder.
SMS
Don’t forget, Sarah, sometimes friends visiting from out of town will share your computer. Although, granted, that does not explain the phenomenon of Phobius, whom I would never have as a friend.
Phobius.
Having just returned from DC, with stories of my own to blog and assisting local candidates, I have not taken the time to get caught up on your posts.
Just checking in.
Larry
For those of you who enjoy the use of wordplay, tropes and figures the website below provides examples and flaws in logic.
Thoughtfully, Robin Marcario
http://www.figarospeech.com/
Figaro says, ” they state their case through a classic enthymeme, Aristotle’s rhetorical version of his logical syllogism.” The enthymeme (“something in the mind”) takes the audience’s value or belief as a jumping-off point for an argument. It goes like this: belief, therefore conclusion. It’s the centerpiece of Aristotelian Logos, the rational part of argument.
You see? You see? That’s why I’m backing Marcario and Ho for the Garden Grove City Council… so we can watch Dingy Dina argue with THAT!
In any case, despite Phobius’ bizarre flattery, I hope everyone can see that there IS no logical collection between Larry’s & Rosie’s enthymeme (I’ts nice for kids to have married parents of both genders) and their conclusion (Don’t let gays marry.)
Phobius has a point here. Over at Red County when I questioned the validity of Prop 8. on libertarian grounds some chucklehead questioned my experience rearing children!
Robin,
That was an extremely enlightening piece of information, as well as a nice addition to my vocabulary. Thank you!!!