A Day in the Life of the Dear Leader of OceAna: from the Diaries of “Baghdad Art” (parody)

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Dear Readers of OceAna, it is my hope that after you read this and familiarize yourself with our Dear Leader’s schedule you will appreciate what a great and TIRELESS Dear Leader we have here in OceAna.

(This is a fictional account – Any resemblance to real characters or events is merely coincidental)

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THE PROBLEM:

You see in the beginning, I was confused.  I did not realize what a Great and Dear Leader we had here in OceAna.

For years, I was confused and I used to criticize and attack with no end.  I used to attack our Dear Leader and the majority of those in his Supreme Council of OceAna, even to the point of calling some of them liars or mischaracterizing others. But I hope to inform you truthfully and honestly as I always have done, so that you will be confused no more.

Our Dear Leader of OceAna has a problem with the citizens.  The problem is two-fold.

1)       You think that he is benefiting improperly by his longevity in office.

2)      You do not realize that he has many more Fresh Ideas after all this time in office.

LONGEVITY.  You may be forgiven for thinking this just because you have seen other long term servants of the people enrich themselves while in office.

The mistake you make is that you compare our Dear Leader of OceAna with other leaders that have abused their office for personal gain.  I know that you think that Power Corrupts and that Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely because you have seen it in the likes of:

But this is not the case with our Dear Leader of OceAna.  Our Dear Leader works very hard for us.  To show you how great he is, he works more than 40 hours a week (I know this to be true, because he says so, and I say so), while he also consults for others in various roles as President and Vice-President and in other small consulting roles.  You see he is able to do all this because he is so great at what he does.

And actually even if he is benefiting, it is only fitting that he help himself to it, and do so as a token of our appreciation.  Speaking of Token Appreciation, let’s assume that he was slated to receive an unearned “fee” – well this is small potatoes for what others have received by the use of their office, and when compared to other amounts that he receives indirectly by his “family” business dealings.  Also his Double and Triple dipping is small compared to what others help themselves to.

FRESH IDEAS:

The other problem that our Dear Leader of OceAna has is that you the citizens think that he has no fresh ideas to improve OceAna.  Well, you are wrong!   …

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About Francisco Barragan