Dueling Outrages: The Beast-Walker Prank vs. the O’Keefe-ACORN Prank.

.
.
.

The first I heard about the Buffalo Beast‘s prank call to Wisconsin Governor Walker last week was Geoff Willis ranting and raving about it in an update to his “Attack on Unions” story.  You would have thought, from Geoff’s level of outrage, that prankster Ian Murphy had ravished everyone’s mom and then gone on to start an unprovoked war.  Using the word “scumbag” half a dozen times, drawing shrugs from most of the community when he pointed out that the ruse would have been illegal in some states, Geoff really worked himself up into a fine tantrum over the amusing little affair.

As so often with this fellow, I just have to ask:

It was actually pretty masterful – Ian Murphy, the faux-Koch, got Governor Walker to spill his guts for fifteen minutes, without having to do much more than occasionally grunt “Beautiful.”  I admit that Walker comported himself reasonably well and didn’t fall into most of Murphy’s clever traps. His most embarrassing moments were when he admitted – after what sounded like a shocked pause – to having “considered” using provocateurs (I wonder how long and seriously they considered that?) and later when he expressed polite interest in faux-Koch’s offer to “show him a real good time in Cali.”

Still, we supporters of the workers learned a few useful things:  Walker laid out the “four or five different angles” he was thinking of using to trick or blackmail the renegade Democrats into returning to the state – hence we were not blindsided by his current hostage treatment of the public employees (threatening to keep firing ’em as long as the Dems stay away.)  And he also showed how out-of-touch he is, rashly assuming that the protests were dwindling (this was ten days ago!) and mostly out-of-staters.  Sounds just like Kaddafi or Mubarak, blaming all the unrest against them on outsiders and “mercenaries,” eh?

Well, listen for yourselves if you haven’t already, it’s in two parts:

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The most instructive aspect of the prank was the Governor’s obsequious attitude and awestruck tone, as he breathlessly reported his progress and boasted to his deep-pocketed faux-patron.  It was communicative of “I know, you put me in this post to do an important job for you, and look at how well I’m doing it!”  And what is the job Walker is doing, or trying to do, for the limitlessly wealthy and greedy Koch brothers?  Jon Taplin writes:

The Punk’d phone call between Governor Scott Walker and what he perceived to be his aristocratic patron, David Koch, revealed the truth of Joseph Ellis’s maxim [that “The main story line of American History, cast Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton in the lead roles of a dramatic contest between the forces of Democracy and the forces of Aristocracy (plutocracy).” Like Hamilton, who he so admires, Koch is only interested in restoring the primacy of the plutocracy. His assault on the forces of democracy has three phases.

First, by funding the Citizens United court case successfully, he freed the forces of the plutocracy to completely dominate political speech.

Second, as Paymaster to governors like Scott Walker and John Kasich he is directly attacking the rights of workers to form unions and collectively bargain. By breaking the unions he eliminates the one institutional source of political money that might counter the plutocrats lock on campaign finance.

The final phase of Koch’s plutocratic assault on democracy will come in the years to follow if he is successful in Wisconsin. We will return to an age of radical deregulation. The ability of Koch and his brethren to foist the cost of their negative externalities on the public is the battleground he cares about. Of course David Koch doesn’t want to pay to clean up his factories, especially when he can force the taxpayer to pay for it.

One figure of speech the Governor used more than once, which faux-Koch quickly picked up on and echoed, was “One of us.” This politician or journalist is “one of us,” that other one is “not one of us.”  What a winky and divisive way to slice up humanity, to divide the American citizenry.  I mean, I go to a lot of events and meetings that are mostly progressive or left-wing, but I never hear any of us speak like that, “One of us,” as though identifying with Masonic handshakes who is to be taken seriously and who merely tolerated or sidelined.  The creepy phrase reminds me of Todd Browning’s Freaks:

[Click here to see the classic “One Of Us” scene from Freaks, which, sadly, seems to be embedding-disabled.]

Comparisons to the ACORN takedown

The whole thing reminded a lot of people of the far more elaborate and dishonest prank(s) that the Breitbart-O’Keefe gang pulled on ACORN a couple years ago.  Geoff did not bring up the comparison, perhaps wisely, although his repeated use of the word “scumbag” in reference to Murphy seemed like possibly a nod to my threepart report last year on the insidious and malicious dishonesty of the ACORN pranksters, in which I used that word dozens of times.  But Geoff’s Sancho Panza Newbie DID go there. And I’m glad he did because I welcome the opportunity to compare those two pranks, which reflect well on the relative honesty and good will of the Left vs. the Right.

First we’ll compare the honesty of the two pranks.  Sure, Ian Murphy misrepresented who he was, as did O’Keefe and Giles.  Big effing deal – that is a time-honored method of getting important information, used by investigators and journalists since time immemorial.  Apart from that, the Walker call was straightforwardly recorded, not edited at all, and was made immediately available to the public in its pristine form.

The case with ACORN could hardly be more different.  THESE two well-funded scumbags traveled across the nation for months, trying to trick minimum-wage ACORN employees into doing or saying something embarrassing.  We have no idea how many offices they went to, as most obviously did not produce the results they wanted.  We know that at least two offices called the police on the scumbags;  we know that the ACORN lady in San Bernardino tried to punk them back with a crazy story.  When they finally did find a couple of idiots who gave them shady advice and didn’t object to their alleged illegal activities, even the tapes they got there weren’t incriminating enough for their purposes, so they had to cut, edit, splice, and even add voice-overs to make them seem worse than they were.  We still haven’t been allowed to view the original unedited footage, and at this point, with ACORN long destroyed, we probably never will.  And yet people like Newbie and Geoff have the gall to call O’Keefe and Giles “journalists” and Murphy a “scumbag?”

How about comparing who those two targets were, that’s an edifying comparison too.  I’m proud to be on the side that punks the powerful, well-funded political figure who’s on a kamikaze celebrity ride trying to crush the power of workers, rather than the side that punks an organization dedicated to helping America’s most impoverished find housing and their political voice.

And finally, what did we learn from each of these pranks, were they worthwhile?  We’ve already gone over the lessons of the Beast-Walker call, but it’s hard to say we learned ANYTHING from the ACORN pranks.  I guess we learned that it’s possible out of thousands of minimum-wage workers in a pretty disorganized national group, to find a couple of idiots.  Wow, what a lesson.  Still, the ACORN prank was tragically successful in destroying its target, thanks to the contemptible cowardice of so many Democrats who should have defended them.  It’s always as Yeats wrote in “Second Coming” :

The best lack all conviction, while the worst are fill’d with a passionate intensity.

Oh, and poor, poor Mika

… She got called “a real piece of ass” by a roughneck Buffalo blogger in his effort to impersonate a roughneck billionaire hoping to trick a union-bashing Governor into embarrassing himself by agreeing.  (I have to admit that Walker didn’t seem to hear the remark.)  This sent Geoff and his fellow righties into a tizzy of pearl-clutching:  “WHAT IF A FOX NEWS JOURNALIST HAD SPOKEN LIKE THAT???”  Actually Rush Limbaugh speaks like that every day, and I’d say he’s a LITTLE more established in the right-wing hierarchy that the Buffalo Beast is on the left.  But since we’re comparing the Beast with the O’Keefe gang, do you really feel faux-Koch’s crude compliment toward Mika is more offensive than barely-legal ACORN prankster Hannah Giles thrusting her butt and tits at us 24-7 in order to get the nation’s salacious attention focused on her utterly valueless and false story?

Hm, Mika Brzezinski, of Morning Joe.  That show isn’t hardly worth getting up early for.  Do I just imagine it, or does Mika look at Joe Scarborough in much the way that Condi used to look at W?  He sure seems to boss her around and dominate her in an old-school way.  Her best moments have been when she’d refuse to read what she rightly considered to be vapid stories about flaky women, from Paris Hilton to Sarah Palin.  The latter refusal led to one of Colbert’s many brilliant recent clips:

(P.S. I hear that on the morning after this Colbert clip aired, Joe’s folks ran the entire thing – after all, they have three hours to fill.  And I hear that when the clip ended, Joe and Mika both sat there looking utterly confused … and then moved on.  Couple of real rocket scientists there on that show, that Joe and Mika.)

About Vern Nelson

Greatest pianist/composer in Orange County, and official political troubadour of Anaheim and most other OC towns. Regularly makes solo performances, sometimes with his savage-jazz band The Vern Nelson Problem. Reach at vernpnelson@gmail.com, or 714-235-VERN.