Gabriel San Roman Calls For Stop to Madagascariense Immigration

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Attempting to stop the tidal wave of immigrants flooding Southern California from Madagascar, Gabriel San Roman has formed a coalition of activist groups to stop this growing problem.  “These people just show up here and expect to get jobs, jobs that hard working Americans and immigrants that were here first deserve.”

This unexpected surge in undocumented Madagascariense has caught U.S. immigration forces flat footed.  “These people have fled the Lemur Regime en masse on an incredible variety of rafts, dinghy and anything that they can get that will float, ” said ICE Madagascar liaison Michael Stopworthy.  “Evidently most of these folks have been washing ashore in various parts of Mexico but with the strict Mexican immigration laws that quickly find themselves in custody,” Stopworthy remarked.

When questioned about Stopworthy’s accusation, Mexican Director of Immigration affairs Mui Caliente replied “Of course it is true.  Mexican law requires immediate incarceration of any immigrant that arrives here without there papers.  If we didn’t do that we would have these folks sucking up our public resources in our schools, hospitals and the like – we simply can’t afford that.”  Although Mexican law technically requires deportation “we found out that Madagascar is a long way away and those plane tickets were expensive” stated Caliente.  “We found it much more cost effective to simply hire “assistants” to help them through the soft spots in the American border.  We have to watch our border pretty carefully or we would be quickly overrun by folks who don’t belong here – I don’t know how you Americans do it.”

Immigration from Madagascar has never previously been a problem given the almost 10,000 miles between the shores of Madagascar and the U.S.  “These people are not natural mariners and some even came around the southern tip of Africa and South America because they didn’t realize that they could just cross the Pacific,” claims an amazed Stopworthy.

“Mr. San Roman is going to have his hands full because many pro-Madagascar groups have alread formed to make sure that this newest group of immigrants have the same RIGHTS guaranteed to all Americans.”