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So! Today at 5, THIS happens. Found in our inbox, this comes from Huntington Beach Visitors Bureau’s snazzy new consultants, Cerell Associates:
Save the Bonfire Rings.Com
Community Treasures Under Attack!
The South Coast Air Quality Management District will have a meeting on the future of our bonfire rings at our beaches:
- 5pm, Friday, May 17
- Huntington Beach City Hall, 2000 Main St, Huntington Beach
For more than 60 years, cities along the Orange County and Los Angeles County Coasts have allowed locals and tourists alike to enjoy the fire pits without any complaints. While the fire pits are a low-cost activity for the residents and visitors of ALL SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, they also provide critically needed revenue for the state and coastal cities.
Losing the fire pits would result in devastating revenue losses for our state parks too. These parks stand to lose 50% of the RV camping revenue should the fire pits be removed. The loss of the fire pits would cost the City of Huntington Beach more than a million dollars every year.
So, I’ll be there, hope you will too! Even though from what I hear, tonight won’t really be the AQMD itself let alone the two members who are most stubbornly dedicated to take our fire pits – Chairman Bill Burke and Vice Chair Dennis Yates. Coupla busybody buffoons who don’t have the stones to show themselves in Surf City. In this latest Register article, they’re now claiming to “have the science” behind them showing that “the impact is there for residents living close to the beach both in Newport Beach and Huntington Beach” … whatever they mean by “impact” and whatever they mean by “close.” But HB Mayor Connie Boardman – who actually IS a scientist and whom they treat with thinly veiled sexist contempt, retorts:
“This report still doesn’t differentiate between dust, smoke coming from the barbecues and smoke from the fire pits. We need to know those facts before we decide to ban all fire pits.”
What this afternoon WILL be is Santa Ana Mayor Miguel Pulido, one of our County’s two representatives on the AQMD, listening and talking to us. Still I hear that the “Small Dark Lord” is on our side here, and he is a good, clever, well-connected and persuasive guy to have on our side. Plus he’s a Democrat, which might help when convincing some of his Los Angeles colleagues on the Board.
**************
What’s really behind this is illustrated in an anecdote I will now share: After my own Bonfire Concert I dropped by Assemblyman Travis Allen’s Bonfire Bash, which was crawling with local politicians and their aides, mostly but not all Republican. One aide who’s been around working for different local Republicans for at least a decade – NO MORE CLUES! – remembered me from when we used to fight over single-payer healthcare in California. “It’s nice to be on the same side of an issue, Vern!” “Yes it is,” I agreed.
Then he told me HIS story of the issue – apparently these same spoiled Newporters have been trying to make fire pits illegal for 15 years or so, and my friend pulled the short straw and had to meet with them. He did a little research on the health and environmental aspects, and when they showed up to make that case for the first half hour, he found it very weak.
Then after about thirty minutes “They let their guard down and made it clear what this was really about – they couldn’t stand all the ‘riff-raff’ coming to the beach – which they thought of as their yard – every night and weekend. And I listened to them, and nodded, and quietly thought ‘Fuck you people – that was ME twenty years ago when I was a surfer living in the Inland Empire. In fact, that was probably ME parking in front of your house! ‘ THIS IS PURE CLASSISM, bro.”
Anyways …
- In other news, the final hearing on the fate of our bonfires will NOT be decided at the long-awaited June 7 hearing, due to some scheduling conflicts. Possibly Shawn Nelson, who I had heard couldn’t be there, so that’s good, we need him up there fighting for us. I suppose it’s good to have more time, as long as we keep the EMBERS OF DISSENT BURNING!
- Travis Allen,
Assemblyman for northern Huntington Beach, has passed a Resolution, ACR 52, “honoring California’s beach lifestyle, supporting access to California’s beaches and the enjoyment of beach bonfires” through the Committee on Natural Resources and is headed for a vote before the full Assembly. Committee on Natural Resources – nice! More on that resolution here.
- When the 13-member Board finally votes on this, we’re sure Burke and Yates are gonna fight us to the bitter end, and we’re sure our two OC reps, Shawn Nelson and Pulido, will stand with us. It seems to me we’ve gotta start lobbying the nine other members. I’ll be putting up a post making it easy for us to do that, soon.
- And my buddy Chris Epting has a new piece up at the HB Independent, as he does every Thursday. Let me quote liberally from the latest:
In the Pipeline: Tired of AQMD’s non-responsive behavior
(by Chris Epting)
People keep asking me whether I think the South Coast Air Quality Management District (AQMD) will vote June 7 to ban beach bonfires in much of Southern California.
I’ve been invited to speak before several groups in the last few weeks, and the question persists. I get daily emails from all kinds of people — young adults to a 92-year-old man.
I even heard from an AQMD employee who was just as fed up because of the very real perception that some board decisions appear to be made for political rather than scientific reasons. (Vern emphasis)
Remember, this all started with a couple of intolerant Newport Beach residents who were able to wangle a one-to-one meeting with AQMD head William Burke.
The AQMD employee, after venting (poignantly and intelligently) several times to me, frustrated, asked, “What do you think will happen?” And I answered, as I do to everyone that asks me, “I just don’t know. But I don’t like the signs.”
That said, I do have a new respect for many AQMD employees. I realized after getting to know this person, that there are those inside who are frustrated too. They do not like appointed officials who don’t always follow science — or even basic reason.
I contacted AQMD to ask about that. I’m still waiting for a response.
I don’t like that AQMD has stopped answering questions that I pose, both to their spokesman, Sam Atwood, and to individual board members. I don’t even get non-responses anymore. I’m just flat-out ignored.
And I, like you, pay their salaries.
I don’t like hearing from people who have been in meetings, who tell me that several AQMD board members have taken a severe dislike to me personally and state so aloud.
Why?
Evidently because I have quoted them, described their behavior and pointed out odd little facts like how they never notified our city about this or how the decision was made absent of specific scientific data regarding Huntington Beach.

Burke.
I don’t like how AQMD board Chairman William Burke and Chino Mayor Dennis Yates compared Newport Beach bonfires to Vietnam War carpet bombing, then became unhinged when I told them I found it offensive.
These men are in charge of science?
I don’t like how some factions of the AQMD seem, in this case, to use science to suit their beliefs, rather than pursuing truth at its highest level. Or how Burke dismisses people like Huntington Beach Mayor Connie Boardman, who actually is a scientist.
I really don’t like how some of them brush away economic concerns about the proposed ban, acting as if that’s nothing but a troublesome speed bump.

Boardman.
I didn’t like how when Burke resigned recently from the California Coastal Commission, he did so in the midst of what has been described as the potential for conflict of interest with his role on the AQMD board.
I wrote asking why he resigned so abruptly.
No answer.
For 20 years, Burke has been head of the AQMD board. I do not like how focused he seems, by his own words and actions, in banning fire rings. He is strangely committed to making this happen.
Which is why, from the beginning, I have felt like the fix has been in on this issue. It was Burke, after all, who publicly announced months ago that this ban was 100% guaranteed.
When I asked him about that, face-to-face, he denied it. Brushed me away as if I was an annoyance. I dared hold him accountable for his words.
Burke and his cronies do not scare me. Nor should they scare you. Remember, we pay them. And as unelected and unchecked as they may be, we can still make a difference.
In fact, we’ve already made a difference.
Think they counted on this being delayed and fought over? No.
This was to have been pushed through quickly and quietly. Then they learned this wasn’t Newport Beach with whom they were dealing. It’s Huntington, and we handle our business a little differently.
I don’t know what will happen. But I do know what we can do… (read the rest at the Independent)
I have composed new lyrics to a familiar song for this occasion (or for whenever Vern is next at the keyboard):
Now we are unstoppable.
Pretty good Diamond – to what tune?
Egads, skally — do you know ANYONE under age 25?
There you go. Welcome to the 2010s.
Vern, could you boil this down to a couple short paragraphs?
LOL. Skallywag satire, the rest of yall
You CAN get over your addiction to fire. I’ve gotten over my own addiction. Pyromania is a bona-fide mental illness…. Do YOU have it?
Something is wrong with them. Nobody acts the fool for a sane reason.
In my opinion, many of these people need to seek help for what appears to be a fascination with fire.
I am old
I am old
I will wear my trousers rolled
Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.
Pigs must have hot blood. They feel like ovens.
Their bite is worse than a horse’s.
They chop a half-moon clean out.
They eat cinders, dead cats.
Tom – Were you addicted to extreme irrational hyperbole (EIH)? – if so, you have fallen off the wagon.
If only you people knew how ridiculous you look with all that smoke & fire around you! Like some kind of crazy clan. I just don’t get why you want to continue to pollute everything around you. Are you all teenagers acting out?
When I’m out walking, I strut my stuff, and I’m so strung out: I’m high as a kite; I just might stop to check you out.
You need to check out Shirley’s site, Vern. She is an anti-wood-burning activist. Hers may be the very “science” on which Burke and Yates plan to rely. Thank you for making you and your work known to us, Shirley!
*We love Shirtey…..and right she is…
…go on big hands
The health of the eco-system depends on natural forest fires and brush fires. Am I wrong? And what is fire pit smoke compared to corporate pollution plastered everywhere.
“War…..what is it good for? Absolutely nothing…say it again…..WAR…..what is it good for? Absolutely nothin……..” Anna’s favorite song.
“Fire…….Let there be FIRE!”…..Ron’s favorite song…..
Meanwhile, the AQMD says: “Got to get you into my life…….” their favorite Beatles’ song….of course! Whatever it is..
Newport Beach: “Blue Skies smiling at me….nothing but blue skies do I see….never saw the sun shinin so bright…never saw things goin so right. Notice-ing the day hurrying by….when your love….oh my it flies……(Flies?) NEVER MIND!
“and i’m down to seeds and stems again, too”
*Don’t forget those dirty diapers for the fire tonight down in HB. Pampers burn best, by the way!
There are trashcans around, ‘Ships. Why exactly would one burn Pampers in one’s own fire ring?
They saw that happen. Or heard about it. Once. Or thrice. It was a traumatizing experience for them. Formative, even.
I still say let Newport get rid of ’em if they want, just leave the rest of us alone.
Let’s let Newport homeowners put a value on removal of the fire rings.
Then, if they win this fight, their property should be reassessed accordingly, with this constituting an “improvement.” (Does that remove them from the protection of Prop 13, by the way?)
If their property becomes worth more because they convince the AQMD to remove public access to it for the purpose for which it was used when they purchased the property, then they gotta pay.
The studies conclusively prove it again and again. From the EPA to State Pollution Control Agencies, from public studies to private lawsuits, all available evidence clearly shows wood smoke causes and/or aggravates serious health issues from asthma to COPD, headaches to heart disease. Wood smoke is a cause of cancer. Wood smoke creates a physical barrier that deprives people of their basic right to clean, breathable air on both public and private property. It’s an attack on our property rights, our lungs, and our quality of life.
Rather than a knee-jerk type of action – do a study, along with some initial mitigating measures.
Vern,
The “science” isn’t on your side, nor are the dumb ass regulations.
Burning wood especially in something like a fire pit, which from a combustion point of view is unregulated (no fuel or oxygen controls) is putting out all kinds of crap in the air. It does aggravate asthma sufferers and cause us not to use the beach, mostly in my case because the crap that’s burned throws my asthma into warp-drive. Last time I thought I might have to visit the ER if it didn’t calm down when I got out of the area.
A little irony here, you can burn a tree, for three hours, but not a cigarette for three minutes on the beach, were’s the logic in that? (I know very few smokers field strip their butts, bad on them, I always have, always will.) You don’t even have to clean up the mess in the fire pit afterward either.
All the above being absolute truth, I still hope you win on this thing! Putting a ding into the glass castle has always been one of my fantasies! (I will tell you what I have story boarded in my mind, in person some time, but I would never put it in print!) This type of regulatory agency, with NO direct voter input is just one of the reason why business has been driven out of state.
I still question the legal viability of their mandates. As far as I can tell they have no “overriding legal authority” as someone once said…
Sorry your ox finally got gored, but I hope that all of you who are fighting this, now understand a little better how draconian their rulings can be and have a little more empathy for those that have been screwed before you. Most of them were just trying to make a living.
I can’t believe that you, like Bill Burke, bring up the smoking ban. That is 100% about the non-biodegradable butts (filters) that piggish smokers leave all over the beach. NOT air pollution.
Did you not understand what I said, “I know very few smokers field strip their butts, bad on them, I always have, always will.”
Come on Vern, not all of us act badly. Get them for littering, that’s exactly what they are doing and it’s already against the law. Just like NOT ALL wood burnt in the fire rings is going to kick off my asthma, but some of that treated crap sure does.
Additionally, some of us smoke non filtered. NO filters. I fully admit that a very high percentage of smokers are NOT picking up after themselves, flick that glowing butt out the window of their cars too. When I was riding my motorcycle all the time I would get hit with them, they burn like hell! I would yell and scream at them, “I’M NOT YOUR ASHTRAY!” and they do give us all a bad name, I totally get that!
I’m on your side in this fire ring thing and against AQMD and the glass castle, but don’t forget that you’re not the first or last victim to their over reaching crapfest.
OK, then — no smoking ban, but make it a felony to leave a cigarette butt on the beach. Fair?
(We should also then have some sort of trackers implanted in the cigarette butts so that we can track back to whoever it was who failed to field strip them and jail them, so I guess that suspending the ban will have to await the appropriate technology. Yes, it could cause harm for you to smoke something with a chip of some sort embedded in the filter, but you’re already messing yourself up so you probably won’t even notice.)
Greg,
It’s so nice to see you comment in such a thoughtful, empathetic and concise way. Thanks so much for understanding that others who may have gone before you, with AQMD and felt the same way about what was taken from them.
Just to clarify my position. I never said I wanted to lift the smoking ban at the beach. It’s rather impolite to put words into another persons mouth and make assertions about what others want that are unfounded. I may not like the smoking ban, but I understand it.
If you understood that I wanted to lift the smoking ban, I suggest you re-read it. I really would like you and others to be more understanding of other viewpoints especially when they don’t coincide with yours. I may even express an unpopular viewpoint from time to time, just to try to point that out.
Again, I wish the those, lovers of the fire rings, well in their battles with AQMD!
I don’t believe that I said that you favored listing the smoking ban. I just put 2+2 together: if the main problem with smoking on the beach is littering with cigarette butts, then it would make sense to lift the ban and enforce the littering problem. That I quickly veered into science fiction should suggest how seriously I took it.
yeah … the nanny state is giving Vern a spanking ….
You got no room to talk about the nanny state, drug warrior.
Okay, I think I have a solution.
Let’s make it a SERIOUS CRIME, WITH STIFF PENALTIES, to force anybody against their will to stay within a certain proximity – let’s say maybe 50 yards? – to a Huntington Beach bonfire. It will be considered something like kidnapping or false imprisonment with added penalties for possible adverse health effects.
We OK now? *snark*
Oh, also, let’s make it impossible to build homes on the beach in Surf City, so that nobody has to worry about it. Oh – also done? good.
*Reminds us of that faithful night at Scotsmans Cove back in 1959…..2 six packs of Schlitz 12 oz……and three shots of Jim Beam……later – was standing around the huge bonfire on the beach. Then without warning I saw a hot burning piece of wood fall from the top of the bonfire and land at my feet. Without thinking I attempted to kick the piece of wood back into the fire. Instead, it sailed over the bonfire and hit some huge fellow in the side of the head. He ran around the bonfire grabbed my coat and was just about to blast me into next week. So, what could I do? You guessed it…..I pretended to pass out. Three other guys yelled….”He is faking it!”…..Wanted to do those guys in….but remained motionless. The guy, kicked me in the butt ……and left.
Smoking, Bonfires, Fire Rings……oh boy……..do we know about those.
Many a time I’ve wanted to ki ……… never mind.
We’ve seen you put ’em into a full Nelson before…
First rule of bonfires . don’t be drunk and stupid.
*Also…don’t take your dog….or baby…..with you either. Also, don’t throw gasoline on an open fire….or a can of hair spray. Any of these may wind up
too memorable for anyone’s best interest.
If you don’t bring your baby, where are you going to get the diapers for the bon fire?
If you feel the urge to throw gasoline on the fire, never pour it directly from the gas can. Pour it into a small cup first, then toss it on the fire….. the fumes in the gas can will explode easily. Either way, if somebody in authority sees you doing that, you’re likely to go through the sally port on your way home.
*Demo……we knew you were the creative one in the group….the entire time!~
“Don’t be drunk and stupid”
Save that for the political blogs where it is most effective or ineffective.
Vern rocked the Santora today. I think with David Bowie but it might have been somebody else.
Occupy Santa Ana, Occupy OC, 99Rise, Wolf PAC in the House!
“drunk and stupid” made you think of me, eh? KIDDING………
*Maybe he thought you were just a sharp shed with a blunt tool…? Forget that….sounds too nasty!
Ron and Anna have been drinking again.
*Alcohol…is in the eye of the beholder. What you never heard?: “Here is Mud in your eye!” Or as the Chinese say: “Belching is next to Godliness!” Or as the Italians say: “Hey Gumbari….” or as the Germans say: “Gemutllchkeit!” Or as Roger Miller said: “You can’t roller stake in a buffalo herd!” All very good advice and have nothing at all to do with suggested pyrotechical safety or diaper disposal techniques nor proper govenmental waste disposal to insure public health and safety.
If alcohol is in the eye of the beholder, flush with fresh water.
Just got this in an e-mail…
https://local.nixle.com/alert/5005711/?sub_id=1000000243
SANTA ANA CITY COUNCIL ADOPTS RESOLUTION IN OPPOSITION TO SCAQMD’s PROPOSED RULE BANNING BEACH FIRE RINGS
*Hiccup! Oh well, drink up and don’t forget to throw your potato chip bags into those fire rings along with your plastic gloves!
Santa Ana City Council seems to be much improved this term.