The never ending sameness of Republican pretenders.

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*For those that have not seen the Jennifer Anniston movie  “CAKE”, which she is being nominated for the Academy Award this year – as Best Actress, there was this great line:  “The people from Orange County are either total loonies and nutcases or right wing Nazi sympathizers !”  This kind of tells it the way folks from Los Angeles and San Francisco see us.  The last time anyone every hit us this hard was Robin Williams, when he did  “The Survivors”, back in 1983.  There was even a copy of Soldier of Fortune in his car while going to the Mercenary Training Center.  Making jokes about the people of Orange County is not new.  Even in the late 90’s, working in Los Angeles – “This is Ron and Anna – they are FROM Orange County!” was our usual introduction.  In the early 90’s of course was the first reference to being “Behind the Orange Curtain”.  Scott Moxley of the OC Weekly picked up on that one – early on.

Today, the face of Orange County is changing slowly.  Oh, the 1 percenters that live in Newport Coast, are still clinging to their LA roots – much as the folks in Irvine did in the ’70’s – clinging to their Riverside/San Bernardino inlander ways all the way through the 1980’s.  Of course, the folks from Tustin, Villa Park and parts of Orange started to embarrass the Irvine Cookie Cutters when they started driving down and spending a lot of time on the beach, going to Newport Beach, Laguna Beach and Huntington Beach and getting those winter tan lines – leaving the Irviners raising and lowering their garage doors simultaneously and mowing their lawns on Saturday and then washing their cars “together”.  The Stepford Wives lasted several years.  There are still probably enclaves scattered across the City of Irvine – hoping the Larry Agran will drive by, so they can wave!

There is really nothing worse than being labeled anything.  Who wants that?  You can start with the basics; White, Black, Arab, Hispanic, Asian, Native American and the other 150 garden varieties.  Then you go to Californians……….”The Land of Fruits and Nuts” they used to call us.  Then it starts to get downright personal when people ask where you where you went to high school, college or whether you served in the military.  If you are foreigner, you are immediately accused of stealing someone’s husband or wife, being illegal or perhaps might be considered a possible terrorist associate.  If you look like a surfer, you may be noticed as:  “He looks like an old surfer!”

If you think out of the box in Orange County, you could be considered totally off the rails.  The good news is that more and more celebrities are moving to Orange County.  The place where John Wayne, Barry Goldwater and Tom Fears had called home has become the land that Dennis Rodman, Kobe Bryant, Karl Malone and Bob Costas have infiltrated.  Of course, we have had a wide array of NFL Football players live here when the Rams played at Anaheim and we still do have a bunch of Major League Baseball players and coaches including LA/Anaheim Angels Mike Scioscia. We even have Anaheim Duck hockey players here, but then those guys will live anywhere and put up with it if the money is good.  Jim Everett of the ’93 Rams made National News throwing over the table on the Jim Rome sports show back several years ago.  Jim Everett still hangs out at the Balboa Bay Club….from time to time.  Dodgers Coach, Tommy Lasorda still lives in Fullerton!

When you are talking politicians the Bob and Sallie Dornan was certainly the perfect “Carpet Bagger from Los Angeles” that made his crash pad in Garden Grove home and made Republican right wingers all look great.  Along with our dear friend Congressman Bill Dannemeyer and Assemblyman Gil and Anita Ferguson and then “Principles Over Politics” Group.   When Loretta Sanchez defeated our man Dornan back in 1996, the story board already was written.  Things were changing in Orange County.  The last gasp came when Tom Fuente stepped down, due to failing health and let Scott Baugh take the reigns of the Orange County Republican Central Committee.  The story since those days has been one of a slow spiral downward for the Republicans in Orange County and throughout the country at large.  When George and Laura Bush left the building……..the days were numbered.

Mitt Romney stepped away from the Presidential race in 2016 two days ago.  We can’t tell if it was because he couldn’t defeat Hillary or whether he didn’t want to be beat up by other candidates, in the Republican Primary race.  The truth is; that the long list of Republican Pretenders is long and stupid.  Let’s start with a couple of not so notable choices.  Scott Walker, is the used car salesman that wants to be another Rick Warren, but will never make it.  Walker is a demogogue that knows how to lie and lie and lie until people in his staff, turn off the applause and canned laughter meter.  Anything this guy says is either off the subject, an accusation against someone else or just plain wrong.  Walker is currently the Republican leader with a 16% approval rating compared to the other runners.  The next Pretender is Fox News retiree; Mike Huckabee.  Huckabee, has managed to gain back about 100 lbs. since he went on his diet some five years ago.  Huckabee now looks more like Chris Christie, hoping Christie’s smarts might rub off – along the way.  Huckabee has a 10% Approval rating.  Another candidate with no solutions and a lot of talk.  Rand Paul comes up as:  Son of Ron Paul, only not as nutcase!  Don’t let that fool you – he is also a nutcase!

When you talk about the Dark Horses in the Republican field you can’t go far before the following nutcases come up:  Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, Kelly Ayotte, Rick Santorum, Paul Ryan, Ben Carson, Rick Perry, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, Lindsay Graham, Bobby Jindal and about 30 more.  Of course, Jeb Bush is going to be the candidate for the Republicans, unless something startling happens – which is always possible.  At least Bush has some policy ideas which make sense to start with.  That doesn’t mean he can’t go off the rails by the time he hits New Hampshire or Alabama.  Jeb, will probably choose John Kasich as his VP running mate to try and grab the Midwest Vote.   We believe the correct Republic choice of course is: Ben Stein with Jesse Ventura running as his VP choice.   Condi Rice is busy waiting to replace Roger Goodell -sorry.  Anyway, Condi wants that $44 million a year…ya know?

Our question is simply this:  How can that many folks run for President for one party?  Heck, Lyndon Larouche and Ralph Nader should also throw their hats into the Republican ring too!  It doesn’t get much better than this.  Here is our suggestion:  Let’s do a “Dancing with the Republican Presidential Candidates” reality TV show.  We can do the thirteen week show and dump the losers as we go along.  When we finally hit the Final Four in week twelve….we will know who the Koch Brothers and Rupert Murdoch will be supporting and let the whole country do the call in – to make that final choice.  The top two vote getters would run as the Republican Candidates to be sent to the Republican Convention.  Of course, all their positions on Immigration, Banking Regulations, Tax Relief for Rich Trust Holders, Affordable Care Act – Obama Care, Net Neutrality, Minimum Wage, Ebola, Fracking, the Keystone XL Pipeline, TPP, The National Debt, Cap & Trade, Black people that vote, Afghanistan, Gitmo, Benghazi, Fast and Furious, IRS Attacks on Non Profits, Israeli Settlements, War with Korean, Iran and ISIS, Hamas, Hezbollah, English John, War with Russia and finally who; Lindsay Lohan and Rihanna should marry….would all be on the table.   Bad wardrobe and jokes should  be points taken away.

The never ending sameness of Republican pretenders!  Good grief, maybe we should just cancel our cable subscription now and avoid the next twenty-two months of boring political hell.

Meanwhile, Go Hawks….Go Pats.  We love ’em both!  Have a great Super Bowl Sunday!