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(In response to a fundraising letter from Marco Rubio’s wife, printed below…)
Dear Mrs. Rubio (may I call you Jeanette?),
Thank you for this “special” message sent to me this morning (February 2nd) and for making me feel special in the process.
However, I am troubled by a few things with your approach. First, you are sending this message to me behind your husband’s back, which makes a decent person wonder what else you may be doing behind your husband’s back, both without him, and possibly worse, with him. Second, you give those damn liberals ammunition (the very word that makes Ted Nugent salivate) when they say, “The Republicans don’t even know what day it is…” Third, your message mentions that your husband is “fighting around the clock for my vote.” Wouldn’t we, as fellow Americans, be better served if he were fighting for America? In Iraq? Or Syria?
While I really like the elegance of his staff’s multiple donation buttons (created expressly for you), both in the quantity and in the redness, aren’t y’all stealing the term “chip in” from those sleazy progressives at MoveOn.org? I have always believed that EVERY Republican knew all knowable information about each and EVERY Republican candidate in this grand land of ours (well, soon to be ours again), and that we Republicans only refer to “chip in” as the explanation for how Phil Michelson maintains such a low scoring average while driving so wildly (even with his new swing).
I appreciate your grit and tenacity mounting Candidate Rubio’s third-rate (at least according to the Iowan count of Confederate Caucasian caucus cocktail napkins (conducted yesterday), with wack jobs Cruz and Cruisin’ for a Brusin’ taking over 50% of the paper stubs (equivalent of votes in normal primaries). And I feel your pain when you are attacked by bull dogs like Carly Fiorina, when she implies that the likes of Marco and “those people” belong in the shipping department while letting the real CEOs run the country.
In that regard, when marco rubio loses in New Hampshire, would you consider another path? Just before Jesus’ last birthday, Joe Torre and a MLB attorney met with Castro’s son regarding the genetic engineering used in the creation of superb, world-class baseball players. Things seem to be on the upswing down there, in more ways than one. Maybe it is time for an hombre of Marco’s stripes to become El Presidente of Cuba, so that your people, exiled for so many decades in the glades of Florida, may return to their island and take it back for a New Cuban Century (I know, Mark thinks that is what he is doing in Dallas, but he is just eccentric).
He could be a hero to so many people, not only in Cuba, but Florida, Israel, and the entire Middle East. With the Cuban Exiles returned to their proper place, it is just a matter of getting the white Confederates back to Georgia, Mississippi, and Alabama, where they belong, so that Florida can become what Allah has prescribed: The New Israel. Peace to the Middle East, and a perfect landing spot for the Israeli diaspora. Win/Win/Win. That spells heroic, in my book.
When those changes occur, the Confederates currently infecting America can be free to reform the CSA. They can live the dream…Cruz as their president and Trump as Secretary of State. Freedom from the chains of Federalism. Free to be you and me. Even Ted Nugent can find true happiness.
I am certain that President Sanders will not suffer the foolish delusions of Abraham Lincoln, nor his acolyte Barack Hussein Obama. His ego doesn’t need to be president of “all” the states. Only the American ones. That is good for America, good for Cuba, good for the CSA, good for Israelis, good for Persians and Arabs, and especially good for Ted Nugent. The Sunnis and the Shiites can finally live in peace after replacing the Salafis and their boorish sect of ISIS with the Egyptian Goddess Isis. Bob Dylan can write a song in commemoration.
America will finally become the country of inclusion; currently with the first African American president, followed by the first Jewish president, followed by Elizabeth Warren, the first female president – Nirvana!
And just think, it can all be initiated by your husband. Olé!
So, stop sneaking around behind his back. Share your newfound wisdom. Make history!
Your Fellow American,
The Reverend Black.
p.s. Would you be willing to take Hillary with you? I have heard she bakes really good cookies…
Fellow American,
I didn’t tell Marco that I was going to send you this email, but I felt it was so important to reach out to you today.
Marco needs our support now more than ever. He has been fighting around the clock for your vote, and the primaries are finally here.
With the Iowa caucuses happening TODAY, the actions we take right now will determine who succeeds going forward. Every dollar you can afford to donate today will go immediately towards Marco’s Get-Out-The-Vote efforts and ensure he has the votes needed to win!
I would love to be able to call Marco tomorrow and tell him that you chipped in and we raised $50,000 today. So please, Fellow American, would you make a donation right now?
I asked Marco’s staff to help me create these instant donation buttons just for you. Will you please select the amount you can afford and send it to the campaign right away?
CHIP IN $5 >>>
CHIP IN $10 >>>
CHIP IN $15 >>>
CHIP IN $25 >>>
CHIP IN $50 >>>
CHIP IN $75 >>>
CHIP IN $100 >>>
CHIP IN $250 >>>
CHIP IN $500 >>>
Campaigning is not easy, nor is it for the faint of heart. We have met so many wonderful Americans like you out on the campaign trail, but unfortunately there are some out there who would just like to throw lies and attacks at Marco. When Marco made the decision to run for president, we knew that would be the case, but Fellow American, knowing we have your support and friendship has made this campaign all the better for our family.
I know the road ahead is only going to be tougher and the attacks are going to increase. That’s why we need to know that we can continue to count on you, Fellow American.
Will you please chip in $25 or whatever you can afford to share right now?
I am so grateful for your support. Every night Marco and I speak on the phone (when I’m not able to join him on the campaign trail), and he tells me the wonderful stories from the day and how he has met and spoken with conservative supporters like you.
I hope one day that we will see you out on the trail too. But in order to continue the campaign, he needs our increased support.
We’re in the final stretch before Iowa! Let’s show Marco he has our support!
Thank you for your friendship and loyalty. It means the world to our family.
Sincerely,
Jeanette Rubio
P.S. I can’t wait to share the results of this email with Marco. Marco’s campaign is fueled by the support of friends like you. If it weren’t for all of the donations received from emails like this one, we wouldn’t have a campaign at all. Please keep our campaign strong and allow Marco to continue his momentum by making an urgently needed contribution right now. Follow this link to make a secure online donation right away.
“However, I am troubled by a few things with your approach. First, you are sending this message to me behind your husband’s back, which makes a decent person wonder what else you may be doing behind your husband’s back, both without him, and possibly worse, with him.”
Nicely done.
Are we attacking Rubio now? I thought we were still attacking Cruz!
Chris Matthews apologized for his remarks on the “two Cuban guys”. Are candidates of different ethnic background getting the same treatment that Obama did?
If you didn’t notice it, last night Rubio became the hopeful GOP establishment candidate,
I hate the word “establishment” in this case.
I prefer “not insane” or “not self loathing”. Both fit better.
I just love that I can use the word “Establishment” again and people know what I mean! Its like being back in 1974!
Rubio’s an odd duck in that as Speaker of the Florida House he was considered a “Tea Partier” but he cleans up fairly well, so that makes him “Establishment” in a sense. I agree that he’s not self-loathing. And while he’s a little insane, Truz and Crump make him seem relatively sober.
I will say this for Cruz: Trumper-Tantrum is absolutely golden.
Marco is somewhat famously bad with, you know, money and stuff. Probably just as well to keep him out of it.
Hi Ricardo,
He has been the “establishment” selection since The Bush Boy was unable to gain any traction from the get-go, according to The Weekly Standard. They push him the way the mainstream press pushes Hillary.
While I am resistant to ANY Republican, ever (and I consider Hillary to be a middle of the road Northeastern Republican), I think Kasich is the most pragmatic man in their camp. His rejection by the primary electorate is the smoking gun in proving that the party has lost its center/compass, insuring that they won’t ever win another national election. Bernie will beat their extremist in a walk.
In all seriousness, they would be so much better off if they would, without antipathy or rancor, politely ask for the permission to secede peacefully. I really do think President Sanders would consider it.
While it sounds like kidding, I truly think that Mr. Rubio could help Cuba find an economic balance, which would be a boon to Cuban entrepreneurs in the short run, as well as help American interests in the long run.
Go Dodgers.
Rubio is such a phony. I couldn’t count on one hand how many policy flip-flops he’s made since entering the GOP POTUS race. The man can’t be trusted. If Rubio ran against Sanders I’d vote for Sanders. And I have no love for Sanders. I deeply respect his position on Wall Street and military intervention in foreign lands, which appears very sincere. Other than that we’re polar opposites.
Could you whip up a complete list of those flip-flops?
I’m, umm, asking for a friend….
1. Rubio was a loyal member of the Gang of 8. Rubio ardently push for a massive immigration reform package that he no longer supports, convinced by the Trump effect.
2. Rubio supported the 2003 Iraq invasion. He said that it was “not a mistake” and “not a flawed strategy”. Upon entering the POTUS campaign asked if looking back he would have authorized the Iraq invasion he said he was not have been in favor of it. Then he spend a half an hour spinning his answer and twisting himself in knots.
3. Rubio has been critical of his own personal finance habits and said that he’s been irresponsible with his personal funds by overspending to buy a better family life. Yet Rubio has consistently supported higher national debt ceilings and bigger budgets resulting in deficit spending which has pushed the national debt to $19 trillion. No remorse over that though.
4. Rubio admits that he couldn’t have attended college without government aid – yet trashes government aid and social programs.
5. Rubio trash talked VA employees and said if they don’t do their jobs they should be fired. He even expanded that comment to apply to all government workers. Yet Rubio has missed more congressional votes than all his Senate colleagues for 2015-16 by a wide margin.
6. RE: Obama’s deal to normalize relations with Cuba. Rubio called it a “concession to tyranny”.
RE: America’s torture program instigated by the GW Bush Administration. Rubio said that the ones who carried out the torture were just following orders and deserve our thanks. Not our politically motivated criticism.
There. Six examples of Rubio flip-flop hypocrisies from a man with 5 fingers.
Rubio is not ready for prime time.
In years past I’d have been embarrassed at Mrs. Rubio’s lame letter, but this is the year my party nearly got Trump as a standard bearer (believing with all my heart and soul that threat has passed, and I need not jump the fence that Canada is reportedly building to keep us out. Joke’s on them. I plan to SWIM to Vancouver Island to become a housekeeper at the Fairmont Empress so the fence failed.) But it takes a lot more to embarrass this Republican now. We finally see the Old Guard like Lincoln Club coming out swinging against Trump, and National Review’s complete gut job on him, it’s all sending a message he is done for, those with memories and some remaining wardrobe selections from the Reagan years are never going to let that comb-over fly the elephant (Thank you for that phrase Ryan Cantor)
Rubio will be the Golden Boy of the GOP. I liked Rubio when he spoke at Flag Day dinner a few years ago, liked him a lot, liked him enough that Richard may have noticed…(sorry hon) and every blue-blooded Newport matron in the room wrote him a check, and frankly a few may have stuffed their lace dainties and home addresses in the envelopes too. He can work a crowd in person. Don’t dismiss that ability. If allowed to come out into the sunshine from the shadow of the Egotistical One I think he can do well, and with Hill going to jail…Bernie is a nice old man with some idealistic notions that work in his head, but fail to see the world as it is. His constant hammering on the business community as the root of evil and corruption completely overlooks the fact that much of Washington’s buy-out is no longer bribery from the private sector, it is now shake-down from the public sector. Look at what happened in Silicon Valley. Those dot com nerds wanted NOTHING to do with politics or Washington, they wanted to be left alone to produce cool stuff and reap the significant rewards they were rightfully due, thanks to having brains, great market timing, and ‘nads of titanium. It was Washington that saw that money pot sitting there without their hands in it and concocted faux monsters to defeat, in order to turn the computer nerds over and empty their pockets. You think anyone in Palo Alto WANTED to hire lobbyists to attend fund raisers? They were forced over that barrel, and Bernie ignores that part of the equation, meaning he will fail to correct what he doesn’t see, and alienate the wealth producers whose money can kick his eccentric and likable, but crazy-as-a-loon ass. Obama pulled that crap on them, sucking up their donations, shutting down entire towns for his arrival at fundraisers hosted by Wall Street while demonizing them, and I don’t see them putting up with it for another administration. We got Rubio vs Doc Emmett Brown and Federal detainee Clinton. So someone better get in there and teach Mrs. Rubio how to write a plea for funds and let’s start by outlining WTF your husband STANDS FOR. Give me ONE program he wants to see moved forward (or killed.) Because I am not funding a message that says, if not for the kindness of strangers we would not have pizza to feed our interns. COME ON PEOPLE if you want to air on prime time then dammit BE READY.
I wouldn’t run a campaign for City Council on that letter! I have spent every one of these stupid debates shaking my head in bewilderment and thinking, America has HOW MANY people in it and THIS is the best my party can offer in the way of leadership? I wonder what kind of shots Canada will expect me to have..
I just read some disturbing reports taken from the Washington Post about Marco Rubio’s personal history. I won’t go into it since at this point it’s mostly speculation fueled by scattered facts. But it was reported by a rather large well-known news agency. If there is truth to it I suspect the story will grow legs. At that point it will be open for public discussion. If not, it will fade away. Just a heads-up to be on alert.
*OK….didn’t want to say…but let’s get down on “Smiling Jack Rubio”. First of all, he doesn’t answer questions – as Chris Christie said (proving that even a broken 8 day clock can be right twice a day). 2ndly, what was Rubio’s father and mother doing leaving Cuba during the Fidelista Days? Mostly those folks were tied very strongly to Battista. Otherwise, something else may have been going on. What about Rubio’s Grandparents? Where are they? Why is Rubio so stridently against renewing ties with Cuba? Lot’s of unanswered questions. Where are the Media questions about what and how he would treat Cuba “If he was elected”. There are some very dangerous Republican Candidates and luckily Walker and Huckabee are gone. Sad to see that Rand Paul pulled out this early. Kasich is now the best of the lot…..but no Prince with a glass slipper for sure! The best thing to do with Rubio at this point is look very carefully at his list of supporters…..his campaign staff and those in Congress that support him. Would never vote for this bad cat ….on a bet.
Rubio reminds me of a classic used car salesman.Fast talking and deceptive. By his general demeanor he comes across as promoting himself as the smartest guy in the room. Conceited. Like the smart, rich kid. I don’t know where he picked that persona up. I thought he had an average middle class upbringing. But I see no attraction there to the average working or retired American. I have to hand it to Bernie Sanders. He has a real down home character that draws people to him. If he moved some of his positions a little closer to the center I think Bernie would have a real shot at getting the Democrat nomination. If Hillary gets indicted (long-shot) Bernie goes to the front of the class. Let’s keep our fingers crossed.