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Today’s discussion: Should teachers without arms be allowed to teach or should they be armed, and should the armless teachers be armed too?
Finally a teacher you can trust to protect your little angel!
As Congress and our new “leader for life” seek to thoroughly transform everything we have accepted as reality, teachers and the handicapped are targeted daily. Now look – they’re insisting that teachers work with arms. Not with legs (you can do it without legs) but the priority at this time seems to be arming teachers.
With today’s astoundng technology, armless teachers can work in schools and bring on the higher education to the students while paradoxically keeping them safe. Teachers with arms and without can have them replaced with the proper attack-repellent devices.
Political authorities across America are seeking to arm the teachers – in fact they’re insisting on it. The advent of replaceable limbs is advantageously adventitious here. Some teachers (with and without arms) are having new 30-millimeter cannon arms attached surgically. These new technological breakthroughs allow the teachers with a brain, assuming they have one, to control the cannon on their arms.
New devices are coming out daily many developed by Elon Musk. Giving up on his concepts to send space ships to Alpha Centauri he is devoting all his time to arming teachers or making teachers arms armed. The new grenade launcher arm is incredible to see as many students claim.
This teacher (right) could take out a Battalion of attacking marauders if need be. With the Bazooka Arm® Musk created, a teacher could destroy an advancing tank. Very useful in Syria today, you might snark. But seriously, here in America it’s only a matter of time before a crazy tank commander and his crew go on a schoolhouse rampage… and we must be prepared!
Sources tell the Orange Juice Blog that the Nuclear-Tipped Warhead Arm® is in production now. So if a school is attacked (God forbid) by Godzilla the teachers will be ready. Vladimir Putin and Kim Jung Un have both weighed in against this, as it adds a new dimension to the Arms race.
Now other countries are looking to develop and arm teacher’s arms also. In some third world countries this gives the teachers no small advantage over their better armed 13 year olds.
Madame Rose’s Day Care – we teach your wee ones how to read/write, dance and kill.
Several well-known American nonprofits are gearing up to help arm the third world country teachers. Musk is personally developing a cheaper version of the Bazooka Arm for these underdeveloped arm countries. “It won’t necessarily take out a tank but could blow the hell out of a prepubescent with a Kalashnikov” claims Musk.
Insanity reigns in America today. And by that I mean that logic and technology have FINALLY triumphed over evil!
I didn’t know even HALF this stuff before reading it here. Winships, you keep your ears to the ground: do you know how much of this is actually true?
I was starting to wonder if this fellow is an associate of our Miss Info Asperger.
*OK, you guys leave our brilliant Elon alone. He does more stuff before 6 AM than most do all day. First off, he did invent, market and is selling his mini Flame Thrower Device……that is certain. However, the rumor of the day is that it was a limited run and they have either run out of product or withdrawn it from the market. Elon in addition to working on his Space Probes, Rocket to Mars and of course Recharging Tesla Cars from Wi-Fi Solar Farms….is trying to work out the bugs in the production side of the Tesla 3…..which is a certain gamechanger. He is also having problems with the Chinese over the $Billion dollars they want for him to distribute, manufacture and export Tesla Autos and Commercial Vehicles in China. He has backup however, because TATA of India is working with him for those things in India ….right now. We think that Elon is currently on “a roll” of exploding ideas. Some of them will be eventually sold to the military, some will eventually become major investment vehicles. Even though some of these things some bizarre…..not to worry……this is like when Bezos at Amazon said: “We are going to lose $50 billion dollars before we start making any money!” Well, we feel the same about Elon…..Elon is on “a roll”!