LAST DAY to mail in your absentee ballot!

If you’re an “absentee voter,” or “vote by mail,” today – Thursday the 3rd – is the last day you can safely mail your ballot in and be sure it’ll get there in time to be counted!  So… get on it!  And don’t forget the stamp.

Oh – Still some questions about certain races?  OK then, here you go, Vern’s picks:

(Remember, you independent Decline to States can request either a Democratic or Republican “crossover ballot” if you want to vote in a party primary!)

Governor

Dems: We all know Gov. Moonbeam will win, so I just had fun and wrote in Ariana Huffington.

Reeps: Damn – they both suck badly. I’m sorry I can’t help you here.

Lieutenant Governor

Dems: Gavin Newsom. Brilliant, tireless & erratic fighter for justice.

Reeps: Aanestad. More honest, AND Republican, than Maldonado. And don’t we ALL want to send Abel back to his farm?

Dem. Attorney General

Lots of good ones here, but Pedro Nava is the best!

Dem. Insurance Commissioner

As Hector and Dave are equally great, us Orange Countians should show some loyalty to Hector De La Torre for all the help he gave us stopping the sale of our Fairgrounds.

Senator

Dems: Of course B-Box will take the primary without breaking a sweat, so I wrote in Warren Beatty in appreciation of his creation Senator Jay Billingston Bulworth.

Reeps: HA HA Local boy Chuck DeVore. The least Demon-Sheepish.

Congressional Primaries

R, 44th District: My friend, honest Christian Conservative Chris Riggs, over King of Corruption Ken Calvert. Come on, South County Republicans, show a little dignity!

R, 42nd District: Why don’t you Republicans who know how corrupt and RINO-ish Gary Miller is, unite around just ONE of his challengers, Lee McGroarty – the one who hasn’t jumped on the anti-Mexican bandwagon (Liberatore) and who wasn’t put up to this run by Gary himself to ensure Gary’s victory (Su)?

R, 47th District: I’ll go ahead and endorse the lame Van Tran, just to make sure the racist foe-of-democracy Tan Nguyen doesn’t get it. (“It” being the high honor of getting trounced by Loretta again.)

Dem, 46th District: OJ friend & DFA anti-war activist Ken Arnold is facing a lame challenger with deep pockets and very limited English skills, so remember – Yes We Ken!

Assembly Primaries

Dem, 70th District: The Fabulous Melissa Fox! She can win – and the other guy…well, I won’t be mean to him, but he’s had his chance – twice.

Dem, 68th District: OJ friend Phu Nguyen! His challenger, for Christ’s sake, has just married a famous Trannie, pretty much putting an end to his charade of not being a Trannie plant.

R, 70th District: OJ friend Dr. Steven Choi really does seem like a nice guy and the lesser evil when you look at HIS challengers.

R, 68th District: Long-shot Dr. Long Pham – because any day you can vote against Minuteman Mayor Allan Mansoor is a good day.

Here Come the Judges

Office no. 16 – Gerald Klein seems much more fair, experiened and trustworthy than Manssourian.

Office no. 50 – I hear from trusted sources that both Lon Hurwitz and Julian Bailey are very good candidates, so flip a coin.

For the uncontested seats I wrote in Erwin Chemerinsky.

Superintendent of Public Instruction

Tom Torlakson, great experience, great state senator, great website.

County Offices

Member County Board of Ed. Trustee area 2 – David L Boyd. Because his opponent is a raging fanatic gaybasher.

Supervisor 1st District – holding a lonely torch for Rose Espinoza, the serious progressive choice.

Supervisor 2nd District – write in Jill Hardy, just to get in the habit for 2014 baby!

Assessor – incumbent Webster Guillory. This one was tough. Even though he’s been somewhat incompetent and wasteful in office (though nowhere NEAR the degree of Public Administrator John Williams) he will probably do better after his recent investigation, and the guy running against him is a total goofball who would be worse.

County Clerk-Recorder – OJ friend Hugh Nguyen. It’s been documented here long enough that incumbent Tom Daly has been in office long enough and wasted too much taxpayer money. Yes I know I’m picking a Republian over a Democrat. This is one of those competence/honesty/nonideological things.

Public Administrator – either Republican Colleen Callahan or Democrat Kevin Vann will be great. I hope you read my blockbuster article on why incumbent John Williams has to go. As long as enough of you vote for Colleen or Kevin and keep Williams down under 50%, we can beat him in November and save taxpayers millions a year in total waste in incompetence.

MOST IMPORTANT – Sheriff: Incumbent Sandra Hutchens. She has done a fine job cleaning up the department after Mike Carona, but more importantly she’s the best way to keep Bill Hunt from turning the OC into an anti-immigrant police state like his buddy Arpaio’s Arizona! (Only slight exaggeration there for dramatic effect.) Let’s unite behind Hutchens June 8 so we don’t have to worry about Hunt again in November, okay?

Treasurer – Shari Freidenrich. Like all the candidates, she’s a Republican, but she’s honest and competent, and that’s all we need in a Treasurer right? Plus she’s from HB, and my pals Debbie Cook, Joe Shaw and Jill Hardy have all endorsed her.

AND THE PROPOSITIONS!

Prop 13 – Yes! Nobody can find anything wrong with this – tax breaks for earthquake retrofits, why not?

Prop 14 – No! sounds good at first, but it’s going to be bad for: Third Parties, progressive Democrats, conservative Republicans, just about everyone but the most corporate-backed “centrists” like Schwarzenegger and Maldonado whose baby this is.

Prop 15 – HELL YES! – An idea whose time has come; a modest but crucial first step to begin diluting the power of money in our politics, and it won’t cost you scrooges a dime.

Prop 16 – HELL NO! Prop 17 – HELL NO! If these two ripoffs pass, I’ll know that Californians will fall for any propaganda huge corporations can throw at them on the TV. Prop 16 is PG&E trying to take away your democracy so they can have a monopoly on power; Prop 17 is Mercury Insurance trying to charge you as much as $1000 a month for insurance if you let yours go for even a short time. Just read my two-part masterpiece “Friends Don’t Let Friends Vote For Prop 16 & 17!”