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Why are Republicans so freaked out about gay marriage?
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Understand this - when I was a Republican, there was a time when I led protests against gay marriage. I even got a minister at my church defrocked for promoting homosexuality in his sermons. Obviously I have a lot to make amends for.
I was raised in a very conservative, fundamental, and somewhat crazed protestant church, called the Seventh Day Adventists. Suffice to say that after having my brain screwed with in that manner all the way up to the eighth grade, it has taken me some time to let go of my Old Testament leanings.
In the past few years I have however changed my opinion, drastically, about homosexuality and about gay marriage. I used to buy the conservative arguments that gay marriage would destroy marriage in general. But let’s take a closer look at that charge.
The fact is, straight people can’t seem to figure out marriage. Here are a few facts for your consideration:
- As of 2003, 43.7% of custodial mothers and 56.2% of custodial fathers were either separated or divorced. And in 2002, 7.8 million Americans paid about $40 billion in child and/or spousal support (84% of the payers were male). (Divorce Magazine).
- The media frequently reports that 50% of American marriages will end in divorce. This number appears to have been derived from very skimpy data related to a single county or state. However, it appears to be reasonable close to the probable value. The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that “Probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue. However, that is only a projection and a prediction.” (Religious Tolerance)
- 11% of the adult population is currently divorced. 25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime. Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience. (Religious Tolerance)
- Donald Hughes, author of The Divorce Reality, said: “In the churches, people have a superstitious view that Christianity will keep them from divorce, but they are subject to the same problems as everyone else, and they include a lack of relationship skills. …Just being born again is not a rabbit’s foot.” Hughes claim that 90% of divorces among born-again couples occur after they have been “saved.” (Religious Tolerance)
- Of the top 15 states for divorce rates in 2005, all 15 voted for Bush in 2004. All fifteen. Of the 12 lowest states for divorce rates, 10 voted for Kerry. Massachusetts, where gay marriage is allowed (and where, according to Republicans, civilization would fall apart), has the lowest divorce rate in the country. (Thinking Liberal)
So there you go. Christians and Republicans divorce more than everyone else, but they are freaking out now that homosexuals can get married in California. Go figure. What a bunch of hypocrites!
And the Republicans wonder why they have lost California. I was talking about this with my kids and I was so proud of them. They agreed with me - gay marriage is no big deal. It should be legal, period. This should give the GOP pause. Young people are not against homosexuals, just as they are less racist then their parents. There is hope for California, but not for the CA GOP.
May 17th, 2008 at 4:29 am
I still say we get rid of the word marriage civilly, but hey, equal rights is equal rights. I’m glad the court got this one right. Congratulations to all on a hard-fought battle. I’ll be discussing it more later this afternoon on TC (The Centrist, incidentally also what I drive - weird).
I think I’ve already quoted John Mayer on the generation gap issue. “One day our generation is gonna rule the population.” Mine is an increasingly wise and patient generation. We’ll wait.
SMS
May 17th, 2008 at 7:05 am
It seems that the Reps want the government out of our pocketbooks and into our bedrooms and Dems want government out of our bedrooms and into our pocketbooks. Perhaps centrists want government out of both? Isn’t that Libertarian?
May 17th, 2008 at 8:12 am
*Everyone thinks this is about the right of same
sex marriage. It is not…at all. Homosexuals
and Lesbians have been getting married since the
days of Caesar and Rome! At the highpoint of Roman society…..young boys were “adopted” which
legally made them wards of the person adopting. They would always get part of the other persons
estate - at their death…even if they disowned wives and biological children. They could leave
them virtually nothing. But the adopted “son”
or “daughter” had to get a full share. Laws haven’t changed that much. What has changed is
Public Assistance and Government intervention in
all of our lives. Homosexuals and Lesbians that
want the State to sanctify their union do so strictly for pecuniary reasons. They always bring up the “illness card”. When their significant other is in the hospitcal…….they
are not allowed access. A very simply “living will” changes that instantly…and cost virtually
nothing to do. Another thing that can be done is
to “Joint Venture” with their partners. Become
Legal Business Partners.
The truth is: they just want the same Tax Breaks
from the IRS and the Franchise Tax Board for filing jointly… The ownership of homes, cars,
and investments are all doable without Legalizing
Marriage for Alternative Lifestyle people.
We could car less, Marry, don’t Marry….get the
Tax Breaks…it is all a bunch of 15 minutes of
fame! Elton John…has a longtime relationship.
Is he Married? Has he Adopted the other? Has
he made provisions for “Power of Attorney” for
the other, in the event he is disabled. Hey,
relationships are relationships! The story still
comes down to who gets the kids? Who gets the House? How much “Alimony” will the other one get?
May 17th, 2008 at 9:48 am
After all that Winshippery I am no wiser - why the hell shouldn’t gays be allowed to marry like the rest of us?
It’s because the GOP has become a haven to folks who find gayness abhorrent, because of their own psychological twists often masked as “religious” or “moral” concerns, and a lot of other, more sophisticated Republicans play along with those folks’ homophobia in order to keep them in the electoral fold.
Jesus, Ron and Anna, is simple equal rights that hard to get your heads around? Sometimes you seem like decent old geezers, but not in that comment.
May 17th, 2008 at 11:03 am
the reason why conservatives are against homosexuality?
my parents were born after the turn of the century. a year before i was born, my mother gave birth to a stillborn. on my birth they were joyous over the success of the birth. i received all kinds of tactile affection. but at the age of one year old, the affection stopped. the belief being that to do so(my mother’s words) “would have made me into a homosexual.”
we were an english colony before we became an independent country. in the the middle 1500’s king henry passed a law that made sodomy punishable by hanging.
there are layers upon layers of homophobia in this culture. and we now in this present time, just starting to deal with them.
why are the conservative….? who else but those who are attached at the hip to the status quo, of not only the old rules of the past, but the historical rules of the past.
and guess what………… that includes all of us …………….including lesbians, gays, transexuals, and bisexuals.
May 17th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
I have come to the conclusion that the people who scream the loudest against gay marriage, who claim that it destroys “family values” are the ones who destroy these oh-so-precious family values themselves. They are the ones with mistresses, going to prostitutes, etc.
If they scream so loud they have something to hide.
May 17th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Reason & Common Sense dictate…that “any”
commitment between two people should be sacred.
Anna and I just celebrated our 20th Anniversary
….and we renew our vows every four years. No
biggie…just our choice. If society denied our
right to marry legally because Anna came from a
foreign country….it wouldn’t matter a twit. We
would have found someone to marry us anyway. If
society dictates that we get a Tax break because
we are married…again…that doesn’t matter to
us….only our commitment. Anyone can validate
a relationship between two people….a father, a
mother, a sister, a brother. A member of any church and even a Justice of the Peace. Vern hasn’t got a clue as to what we said….but that’s
OK…because people’s prejudices have too much
influence on their opinions. Read what we wrote
again…and realize…..GAY Marriage or the Marriage between a Man and his Horse…is just fine with us. Just don’t ask for the Tax write off!
May 17th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Joe,
Darn right! Go to D.C. and you will find that GOP politicians are just as perverted as their blue counterparts, if not more so.
To hear the Reeps blowing chunks about gay marriage just makes me ill. They have no right to talk about destroying marriage. Ask Newt Gingrich’s ex wives how they feel about his commitment to marriage, or Rudy Giuliani’s ex wife for that matter…
May 17th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
I am glad you changed your opinion loving gay/lesbian couples should be able to have the 1,800 benefits and rights of marriage to protect their families.
http://www.queersunited.blogspot.com
May 17th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
I share your predicament…I was a fourth generation Seventh-Day Adventist and went through the 8th grade in their schools before leaving to finish my education in public schools and UCLA. Thank God!
I am completing a novel about a gay couple and my research plus my many gay friends have enlightened my view of gay life. I’m so happy to be living in California at this time and to be witnessing the sanction of gay marriage. It’s been a long time coming and it should be legal all over the world! Homosexuals, like heterosexuals are born that way, and should never be ostracized for something that God, in his wisdom, created.
May 18th, 2008 at 9:46 am
As a staunch Republican conservative I don’t care a thing about gays either way. As someone famous once said, “Let them marry and be as miserable as the rest of us”…works for me.
May 18th, 2008 at 10:01 am
A thoughtful analysis of a thorny subject. Thanks.